


aiming for heaven above

by aizensosuke



Series: a fading silhouette [3]
Category: Bleach
Genre: Additional Warnings In Author's Note, BDSM, Bondage, Dom/sub, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Enthusiastic Consent, Established Relationship, Explicit Consent, Explicit Sexual Content, Long-Term Relationship(s), M/M, Marriage Counselling, Multi, Open Marriage, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Polyamory, Safe Sane and Consensual, Safewords, Trans Aizen Sousuke, Trans Character, Trans Kuchiki Byakuya, Trans Male Character
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-28
Updated: 2019-07-08
Packaged: 2020-05-28 10:14:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,886
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19392019
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aizensosuke/pseuds/aizensosuke
Summary: aizen sosuke and kuchiki byakuya are picking up the pieces of their marriage, determined to make it work after having so many flaws in their relationship exposed. a vacation away from the rest of the world in germany has forced them to face their problems head-on unless they want to file for divorce and call an end to everything they have together.ulquiorra cifer and grimmjow jaegerjaques are looking forward to the exact opposite: finally meeting one another at the altar and making the long bond between them a permanent one. just because they have marriage on the horizon does not mean that their relationship with their partners means any less to them, something they desperately want them to know.bazz-b is caught between the love he has now and the love he could have had as he and his former bandmates work together to create something out of the ashes. to truly give himself to the people he loves now, he has to confront the past, the friendship he lost, and perhaps admit there is more to his attraction to sosuke than he is ready to admit.





	1. you are all of your good and bad experiences

**Author's Note:**

> **warnings:** therapy stuff in this chapter, trans issues, transphobia mentions
> 
>  **sexual content:** none

* * *

The sincerity in Kuchiki Byakuya’s voice when he extended the dinner invitation at the beginning of the week is the only resolve Aizen Sosuke has to show up at his apartment door, knuckles rapping lightly on the wood while he tells himself not to run away.

 _He is the only friend you have right now,_ he tells himself in the sternest voice he can muster, though even it quivers pitifully. Some part of him does not want to be here. _And he’s trying to be nice to you. The least you can do is show up and compliment his cooking._

Sosuke should be grateful. Stumbling into the campus’s LGBT group was one of the most frightening moments of his life and yet there was someone right there to gather him up and keep him safe, give him the patience and kindness he never has for himself. He’s come a long way from the rooftop, he thinks, and feels bad about it all over again. Every time Byakuya tells him how strong he is, or how proud he is of him for coming this far, Sosuke keeps remembering just how easy it would have been to ruin all of that.

If he jumped, he never would have met Byakuya at all.

“Sorry to keep you waiting,” Byakuya says as soon as he opens the door. Though he looks just a touch flustered in the face, he’s gorgeous and put together as always. Hair drawn back into a low ponytail, shirt pressed, jeans fit to the shape of his legs. “Oh, you brought wine, that was nice of you. How’s your day been? Classes go okay?”

He ushers Sosuke inside while he locks up the apartment and Sosuke has to take a slow, deep breath and remind himself to relax. It’s just Byakuya, he can handle this. “It’s been a day, you know how it goes. Class was fine. How’s your day been going?”

“Well… It’s perfect now.” Byakuya flashes him a smile and takes the wine, and Sosuke tries not to feel the way heat floods his cheeks all at once. What does _that_ mean?

The apartment is small but tidy, exactly what Sosuke expects of someone like Byakuya. The couch looks new, the television is nice, the coffee table is glass and black metal. There are framed photographs on the walls of Byakuya with who must be family, and Sosuke tries not to look at those too hard because he knows it might kill him to see them.

He dodged a call from his mother this afternoon and it’s been eating him alive since then.

“I made miso ramen, I hope that’s fine?” Byakuya’s hand is on his elbow, guiding him toward a small table just opposite the living room in its own little enclave. “It’s nice and hearty.”

“That’s perfect for this weather, actually.” The cold has been terrible. This has to be one of the worst winters in history, or maybe Sosuke is just growing more sensitive to the chill. It doesn’t really matter which. “And I’m sure anything you make will be lovely.”

Byakuya’s face softens. “You’re sweet. And you look so handsome this evening, too.”

“You say so many things,” Sosuke murmurs, trying to brush it off. But the truth of the matter is, he tried a little. Wore the nicest jeans he currently has with him, paired them with a white button-down and combed his hair back. There isn’t much he can do about the insistent curl that always lands beside his nose, but Byakuya doesn’t seem to mind.

“I say things that I mean, yes.” Byakuya sets the wine on the table and brushes past him. “Please sit down, I’m just going to get a couple of glasses for us.”

The table is the same black metal and glass as the coffee table, a matching set; Sosuke lowers himself into one of the chairs and doesn’t know what to do with his hands. How long has it been since he did something so casual as come to a friend’s place to have dinner with them? Too long, because Sosuke has been dodging as many people as he can to get through college as fast as possible with the hope he could live his real life after it was over.

Not so much, but he likes Byakuya, so he doesn’t mind sharing this time with him.

“This is a good brand, actually.” Byakuya pops the cork with a professional touch and pours them both a glass before sitting down as well. The lighting in this part of the room is low, and there are three candles set in the center of the table. He really tried to make this look nice for just a friendly get-together. “Have you been getting enough sleep lately?”

“I have been because I know you’re going to ask about it. I’m still tracking it the way you showed me how to.” Initially, a horrifying experience. Sosuke never imagined he was missing so much sleep until he saw it written out in front of his face.

Chuckling softly, Byakuya takes a sip of wine. “Well, what can I say? I’m worried about you. I just want you to take care of yourself because you deserve that.”

“You’ve been trying to watch out for me since the day we met. Also, this looks delicious.” Sosuke picks up his chopsticks and whistles softly; the ramen is fragrant, and the eggs look perfectly cooked. “You didn’t have to go to so much trouble for me.”

“Sosuke, you have no idea how _little_ trouble this was or how _much_ trouble I’d go to for you.” Byakuya smiles at him and picks up his own chopsticks. “Itadakimasu.”

All in all, Sosuke probably does not deserve Byakuya in any way. He spent half an hour with his head on Byakuya’s shoulder crying out the knot of anguish in his chest the first day they met, and it was dark outside by the time he sucked it up enough to go back to his dorm. He’s certain he ruined Byakuya’s shirt. He certainly got snot all over it, which is terrifying to think about, but Byakuya never holds it above him or brings it up to taunt him.

Everything he does is graceful even in small ways as if Byakuya happens to be a swan born in human skin, which Sosuke would believe. Even something as simple as eating looks like a scene shot out of a romantic film, and Sosuke is embarrassed to catch himself watching.

Oh well, he supposes. Having a crush on the first person to extend a kind hand to you is natural. As long as he does not ruin their friendship, he can bear this quietly.

“Is it good?” Byakuya looks at him across the table, and his grey eyes are warm in the candlelight. “I should have just asked you what you wanted to eat and then adjust whatever ideas I had accordingly but I didn’t, so I had to hazard a guess.”

Sosuke shakes his head. “You didn’t have to ask, and this is delicious. It’s restaurant quality. I can’t believe you’re going into business when you could make money off of this.”

“Maybe I don’t want to market my cooking. Maybe I just want to cook for pretty men who come to my apartment and spend time with me.” Byakuya smiles at him, and Sosuke ducks his head, inhales and exhales. His face is too warm, and it’s not the steam from the broth.

If his last boyfriend was half as sweet as Byakuya, maybe Sosuke would still be with him.

“How goes the dating department?” he asks instead, trying to play it light and casual.

For a moment, Byakuya is quiet. When he speaks, his voice is almost subdued. “I’m only interested in one person, but I don’t think he’s picked it up just yet. What about you?”

So there is someone. Sosuke can’t claim to be surprised, not really, not with how intelligent and handsome and well-spoken Byakuya is. “Oh, there isn’t much going on. You know, after… It’s just hard to convince myself I could ever date a cis man again.”

“You don’t have to, you know. There are a lot of trans people who are only comfortable with dating other trans people. No one would judge you.” Byakuya’s hand sneaks across the table to set on top of his own so gently. “I certainly wouldn’t. You deserve to be loved.”

Coming to dinner is almost too much for Sosuke to handle, and he knows Byakuya. The two of them touch base with each other almost every day. “You’re very kind.”

“Don’t brush that off as a compliment, Sosuke. You do deserve to be loved. You should get the happy ending I know you want.” Byakuya’s fingers slip under his own, turning his hand over so Byakuya can hold it gently. “Anyone would be really lucky to have you as their partner, and you shouldn’t sell yourself short so much. It’s not good for you.”

“I know. I’m working on it. Thank you.” Sosuke gives his hand a squeeze and Byakuya’s smile is warmer than the small flames flickering between the two of them.

They finish eating and Byakuya insists on moving over to the couch to finish the wine, sitting close enough that their knees brush when they face each other. He has this way of listening when Sosuke is talking to him, head cocked to the side and eyes focused on him, asking appropriate questions and clarifications like he’s at a lecture trying to remember all of the information mentally. He tries so hard and Sosuke is not used to someone who tries.

When he came out, the last few friends he had in high school fizzled out quickly. No one wanted to learn his new name or practice using his new pronouns. No one cared enough. And though he tells himself Byakuya is trying because Byakuya knows how it feels and why the effort is important, it never diminishes the impact of it on him.

“So I met with my counselor and I’m dropping the class. I just can’t handle the extra stress,” Sosuke finishes, and Byakuya hums softly and fills his glass back up. “If you do that, I’m not going to be able to drive back to campus.”

“Then don’t go back to campus. You can stay here with me tonight,” Byakuya says.

Sosuke’s skin buzzes at the thought. It’s such a nice apartment, a lot nicer than his dorm room, which is half a mess at all times because he can never keep himself put together for very long, it seems. “You’re being too nice to me tonight. I’ll never be able to repay you.”

“I don’t want you to repay me.” Byakuya takes Sosuke’s hands in his. His hands are so soft, so well taken-care of. “I just want you to be happy and comfortable.”

“Well, if we’re going to finish the bottle, I can’t very well drive back,” Sosuke admits.

Byakuya beams at him. “Then we’ll finish the bottle and you can sleep over with me.”

“I didn’t bring anything to sleep in, though. Jeans aren’t exactly good pajamas.” He doesn’t admit he has experience in knowing this because he’s crashed so much. “Very sturdy.”

“You can borrow some of my clothes. I don’t mind. We’re about the same size.” Byakuya is still holding his hands and twines their fingers together, and it feels so nice. Their hands fit together well, Sosuke thinks. “It’s decided. We’re having a sleepover.”

“I suppose we are.” Sosuke’s smiling now, too. When it comes to Byakuya, it’s hard not to.

They finish the wine around conversations about the group, what Byakuya wants to do with it in the future and plans he has for some small events before the end of the school year. He cares so much about it, about all of them. It’s his passion project, Sosuke can tell. Byakuya told him outright it helped him so much, and now Sosuke can see he’s projecting all the help to others now, trying to make it to where no one has to suffer again.

It’s an admirable position. He works hard for all of them and Sosuke appreciates him so much. He doesn’t know where he’d be without Byakuya in his life.

“But that’s for summer, so.” Byakuya squeezes his hands, and Sosuke realizes he’s still holding them. “You look tired, love. Want to call it an early night?”

“Wine makes me tired. I’m still not used to holding my alcohol,” Sosuke admits shyly.

“It’s okay. Come on.” Byakuya stands and tugs on his hands, pulling Sosuke up onto his feet with him. The two of them are so close that for a moment, Sosuke can smell the subtle waft of Byakuya’s favorite cologne. “We’re going to have to share my bed if that’s okay?”

“You sure you don’t want me to sleep on the couch?” At the absolutely offended expression on Byakuya’s face, Sosuke hunches his shoulders. “Right, right, of course not. Your bed.”

Byakuya’s face softens and he lets go of Sosuke’s hand just to slip his fingers under Sosuke’s chin, tilting his head up so their eyes meet. “Don’t hide away from me. I’m sorry if I startled you. I’d never ask you to sleep on the couch. My bed is big enough for us.”

It takes everything Sosuke has not to lean into Byakuya’s touch. He can’t be that bad.

Like the rest of the apartment, the bedroom is on the smaller side but nowhere near as messy as the area around Sosuke’s bed. The sheets are clean and look soft, and the bedspread looks comfortably thick and warm for a winter night. The drapes are pulled over the window and the lamp on Byakuya’s nightstand gives the room a hazy golden glow. Everything about it seems peaceful and nice, a perfect place to come and sleep.

“Here we go.” Byakuya slides the closet door open and flips through clothing at a dizzying pace before selecting a hanger and holding it out. “Dark green fine with you?”

“I don’t even care about the color, I promise.” Sosuke accepts the pajamas and realizes they’re satin, slick and smooth under his fingers. Of course they are. They’re Byakuya’s.

“You don’t really have to, you look so nice in everything.” Byakuya skims his shirt over his head and tosses it in the general direction of the laundry basket. “Just go ahead and put your clothes there, too, we can wash them before you go home tomorrow.”

Sosuke is distracted for a moment just looking at him, the strong and simple lines of his body. Sometimes, he looks at himself in the mirror and he can never really see a man staring back at him. It’s why he cut his hair short and why he dealt with the lengthy process of finding a company that sold binders that would fit him as comfortably as possible and why he puts up with the ache that comes with it. And he isn’t really sure how much of that works for him, but Byakuya is different. He always looks just like who he is, and Sosuke envies that. He wants that so badly for himself.

They change in silence, and Souske at least can strip mostly naked in front of him without feeling too self-conscious about it. Why should he? Byakuya knows and isn’t likely to lash out at him and make a comment about his body. He’s never done anything like that before.

In fact, as soon as he fastens the last button on the shirt, Byakuya hugs him from behind, startling a little noise out of him. “You look so nice in green, I’m jealous.”

“You look nice in everything, I hardly think it’s a fair comparison,” Sosuke says.

“Then why bother comparing? Besides, you’re so much meaner to yourself than I am.” Byakuya turns him around and Sosuke swallows back a squeak when Byakuya cups his face in both hands. The two of them are too close. He _cannot_ handle this. “You’re so handsome, Sosuke. And you only get handsomer every day. People should pay to look at you.”

“Hush. That’s too much.” Sosuke presses his fingers to Byakuya’s lips; Byakuya smiles against them and pats him on the cheek before letting him go.

The bed is just as comfortable as it looks and they end up facing each other after Byakuya shuts off the lamp. The light from the alarm clock on his nightstand gives the room a strange, faint green glow but Sosuke can see the lines of his face like this, so he doesn’t mind so much. Being this close to him is more than he could have asked for even though he does tense up just a little when Byakuya stretches up a hand, fingers combing Sosuke’s hair back just a little, running through the length of it. He’s always been so touchy.

“It’s nice having you here,” he says, and his voice is lower. Softer in the darkness of the room. “I really wanted to invite you over, but I was nervous about asking.”

Sosuke tries not to snort at the idea. “What reason would I have to say no?”

“I can think of a few, but I’m just glad you came. I’ve always really liked spending time with you.” Byakuya scoots closer to him, slips an arm around his waist, fingers splaying in the small of his back. “Is this fine? I know you’re not really a touchy person.”

“It’s fine. I don’t mind it when it’s you.” If he’s being honest, Sosuke… Wants this. He wants Byakuya and whatever that entails even if he’s not particularly worthy of him.

_Don’t say a word about it or you’re going to lose his friendship entirely._

“Oh, that’s so nice to hear.” Byakuya closes his eyes for a moment and Sosuke thinks he must be about to go to sleep when he speaks again. “But it’s also killing me to hear that.”

“Why? Did I say something wrong?” Of course he did. Of course he made a mistake.

But Byakuya shakes his head and then just looks at him, and even with the low light in the room, his expression looks intense. “No. You’re perfect, Sosuke. You’re so careful about everything you say and do because you don’t want to upset me but I’m telling you right now that I don’t know if you could. I’m kind of stupid when it comes to you.”

“You’re sweet.” This is too much. Sosuke cannot lie here and listen to this all night.

“I’m just being honest. I’m the one who made the mistake in inviting you over and thinking it could just be a nice, normal night.” Byakuya scoots closer to him, hooks a leg around one of his. They’re so close. It’s almost too much. “I really did just want to spend time with you, but that’s… That’s not quite doing it for me the way it used to.”

Sosuke bites down on his lower lip. Oh. “Byakuya, if you’d like me to leave—”

“I don’t ever want you to leave again.” The words all rush out on an exhale and Byakuya squeezes his eyes shut. “I’m such an idiot. It shouldn’t be this hard. Sosuke, I like you. I’m in love with you, and I want to be with you. I want to be your boyfriend.”

“Oh.” Sosuke blinks at him a few times, not quite sure he heard that correctly. Not quite sure his wish fulfillment didn’t just come up with one of the worst things he could possibly hear, all things being equal. “I… Did you just say you wanted to be my—”

Byakuya groans softly. “I know I’m an idiot. You’re probably not interested, and you’d have every right not to be. This was weird of me to do. I should have been more honest about my intentions with you. I don’t want you thinking I’m a creep at all.”

“Stop.” Sosuke takes a slow, deep breath. “Byakuya, what is it that you want from me?”

“Nothing. I just… Want you. Close and here and letting me hold you, maybe forever.” Byakuya laughs at himself, and it’s a small, tortured sound. “I love you, Aizen Sosuke. I think I’ve had a crush on you since the third day we met, but love came not long after.”

“You’re… Ridiculous.” Sosuke almost smacks their foreheads together in his haste to hug Byakuya, arms tight around him, squeezing him probably too hard. “Thinking I wouldn’t want you, that I didn’t want to be with you. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”

Byakuya’s arms slip around him in seconds, pulling him even closer, tangling their legs together so that they’re one person, one body, two hearts beating in sync. “You’ve just made the only real dream I have come true. Sosuke, _please_ say you’ll be mine.”

“I think I was pretty much born to be yours,” Sosuke admits. “So of course I will.”

“Good.” Byakuya leans back, their foreheads pressed together. “I love you. So much.”

Sosuke closes his eyes and thinks _finally_. “I love you, too.”

* * *

“That’s a lovely story.” The marriage counselor— Hikifune Kirio— makes several notes on her pad of paper before looking up at them again. “But it does reinforce much of what we already inferred together. Sosuke, you’ve always seen a deficiency in yourself that you don’t detect in Byakuya. You’ve always placed him above yourself, even just a little.”

“It would seem so.” Sosuke is tired. These sessions always leave him exhausted emotionally and physically, and recounting what used to be one of the best nights of his life like this… It isn’t enjoyable to talk about anymore, as heartbreaking as that is.

Next to him, Byakuya is unusually quiet. He’d shut up the minute Kirio said she wanted to only hear Sosuke’s perspective on the story, lips pulled between his teeth.

Kirio’s gaze slides to him. Even through the television screen mounted on the wall, her gaze is sharp. “Did you notice anything noteworthy about that story he told, Byakuya?”

“He’s too kind. I was a wreck and an idiot all night long waiting for him to come over, and I wasn’t any better once he got there. He’s… Very much built me up in that memory.” Byakuya speaks carefully, separating each word from the next. He puts together his sentences very deliberately during this sessions. “But I suppose that would make sense.”

“And do you think he’s always put him above you in that way?” Kirio presses.

Byakuya nods. His hands fidget in his lap before he tucks one of them under his chin. “Yes, I think so. When we were in university, I always thought it was just because… Things were so hard for him. So much harder than they were for me. I don’t think he ever really saw that because he didn’t want to invalidate my experiences, but I had money and friends. My parents loved me. I didn’t ever… I never thought about wanting to die.”

No. He hadn’t. Bringing it up like this is difficult because Sosuke wants to put it firmly behind him, but he knows it’s important. He was vulnerable when they were in college.

Kirio cocks her head at him. “You look like you have something else you want to say?”

“I’m just wondering if it was wrong of me to say anything to him about how I felt now,” Byakuya admits quietly. “Maybe it was wrong of me to ask him out when I knew all of this.”

Slowly, Sosuke slides a hand across the couch to take Byakuya’s free one in his own, lacing their fingers together and squeezing gently. “I don’t think it was wrong of you. It was a bad circumstance for me, but I wanted you just as much as you wanted me. Maybe more.”

“You can’t always foresee what’s going to happen in the future,” Kirio reminds them, and Byakuya looks at Sosuke. There’s always something haunted in his eyes when they meet with Kirio, something that says he can feel the weight of the past on his back and he’s afraid of it. Afraid that everything was a mistake, that even one choice led to now. And did that make all of their choices negative? “You’re discussing the morality of asking someone to date you, but I think it’s more complicated than that. Unless Sosuke exaggerated all of what you said to him, you did see him as better than he saw himself.”

“Of course. He was always too mean to himself.” Byakuya squeezes his hand back.

Kirio takes more notes. Sosuke wonders sometimes what she’s writing down, but Ulquiorra told him a while ago that it was never anything malicious. “I think this is a good foundation for understanding how things changed, though. How do you see Byakuya now, Sosuke?”

What a loaded question. He knows he has to be honest whether he likes it or not. “He’s my husband. I don’t regret dating him or marrying him. I just wish our communication was better so I felt like I could tell him when I was uncomfortable with the choices he makes.”

“And how do you see Sosuke, Byakuya?” Kirio asks.

“My husband that I love and who I ignorantly hurt because I can’t stop being a controlling idiot for five minutes.” Byakuya looks away, and Sosuke’s heart hurts a little even though he knows it’s not wrong. Seeing the weight of his sins is hurting Byakuya, but it has to. He needs to understand just how serious the problem is so they can fix it together.

“We’re going to try to get to the root of what caused the control issues in the next session, so I’m going to email you some questions that I want you two to sit down and answer together before then.” Kirio’s voice always shifts just a little at the end of a session, a cue that it’s almost over and they can breathe. “Other than paper homework, though, I do want you two to sit down together for dinner, just the two of you. Not your other partners, not your daughter. Like you did when you ate together that night.”

Sosuke nods, rubbing his thumb over Byakuya’s knuckles gently. “We can have the others take care of Rukia that night. She’s curious about what’s going on, but I think Bazz told her we just need to do some things so everyone is happy, and she understands that.”

“That’s good. I think we’ll end the session here this evening, and I’ll see the two of you next week.” They say their goodbyes and disconnect the call.

Byakuya sags against the back of the couch. He looks awful. He always does at the end of a session, and Sosuke feels bad for him even though he knows he shouldn’t. “I’m sorry.”

“I know.” Sosuke scoots closer to him and rests his head on Byakuya’s shoulder. After the first session, Byakuya just walked out of the house and was gone for hours. He ended up getting lost on the unfamiliar streets and had to call Bazz to ask for directions back, absolutely refusing to be picked up. He hates himself so much and Sosuke wishes he didn’t.

“Most people grow up to be better adults than they were in college, and I regressed. I’m sorry.” Byakuya turns to him, pulls Sosuke into his arms and holds him, squeezing just a little too tight. Sosuke doesn’t mind, honestly. “You’re one of the best things that ever happened to me, but I can’t honestly believe the opposite of that anymore.”

Sosuke still does. Through all of the pain, the communication errors, the self-esteem issues, the struggles… “I wouldn’t go back in time and tell myself not to date you or marry you, you idiot. If I didn’t want to be with you anymore, we wouldn’t even be here.”

“I know. I just… You deserved so much more. I’m sorry it’s taking me so late to figure that out.” And Byakuya squeezes him tighter, as if trying to meld them into a single person.

The front door opens and Byakuya lets him go, but Sosuke doesn’t move from his place pressed up against Byakuya’s chest. It’s enough to convince Byakuya that it’s fine, that he likes being this close to him, so he hugs him back around the waist. It’s so gentle.

“Sorry we’re a little late,” Bazz says. He’s leading the others into the house, Rukia propped up on one hip. She looks so comfortable with him and her face splits into a wide smile when she sees them, waving both of her hands. Seeing them together and close makes her happy because she never wanted them to fight in the first place. “We got what you asked for, by the way. Hope everything with the therapist went fine.”

“It always does.” Byakuya kisses him on the cheek and then gets up to take the grocery bag Ulquiorra is holding. “Thank you. I’ll just get started on dinner now.”

As soon as he leaves the living room, Grimmjow raises an eyebrow at him. “He looked dead.”

“It was a particularly rough session for him, I think. They tend to be.” Sosuke pushes himself off of the couch and Grimmjow is there in a moment, catching him around the waist to kiss him hello. “Well, I missed you too. I hope you four had fun today.”

“Of course we did,” Bazz huffs. “Told you I’d take care of all of ‘em, didn’t I?”

“You did,” Sosuke confirms, and Bazz grins at him. “I don’t know why I ever doubted you.”

If anyone told Sosuke just last winter that the men he agreed to tutor in BDSM were going to be become his romantic partners and that he’d fall in love with a family friend who’d spirit all of them away to Germany, he wouldn’t have believed it. After university, his life grew boring and average. He had a nice job, a beautiful house, his husband, and nothing really too out there other than working as a Dominant in a BDSM club.

And that isn’t exactly outlandish for wealthy people these days. It’s rather normal.

Grimmjow always wants to steal so much of his attention, kissing along the side of his neck while he holds him close. “I’m glad he’s learning to be a better husband for you, y’know.”

“I know. Thank you.” Sosuke reaches past him to Ulquiorra, who takes his hand and kisses it, holding it in both of his own like it’s precious to him. “Find anything you can draw?”

“I took some pictures,” Ulquiorra confirms. “Kon is in some of them. He’s quite a tourist.”

Rukia giggles and squirms down from Bazz’s arms, running up to Sosuke with Kon, her stuffed lion, tucked faithfully under one arm. “He likes the sunset. So-chan, I missed you.”

Sosuke bends down and picks her up with ease, and Rukia smacks a hard, wet kiss on his cheek immediately before throwing her arms around his neck. “I missed you, too, love.”

“Let’s go see if we can help Byakuya in the kitchen,” Ulquiorra says after Rukia has finished her embrace, and she immediately turns to him, reaching out to him. She’d warmed up to him faster than she had anyone else, and Sosuke has caught her, more than once, doing her best when she sits down to color while he draws.

Bazz locks up the front door for them and then pulls Sosuke into his arms, almost picking him up off of his feet with the force of it. “Coming back home to you never gets old.”

“You’re a sap,” Sosuke murmurs, and Bazz hums against his ear. “I love it, though.”

“I love _you,_ ” Bazz says, and Sosuke giggles. He’s so sweet and always really has been when he stops to think about it. “Yumichika says he’ll watch Rukia for us tomorrow night, by the way. So do you want me to tell As and Cang Du we’re in, or do you wanna wait?”

The question has heat pooling in Sosuke’s gut. They’d talked about this for the last week or so, but now… “Yes. Tell them we’re in. There’s no time like the present, after all.”

Bazz smiles wolfishly and kisses him, and the heat inside of him blooms into a small flame. “You got it, babe. Besides, I’ve been looking forward to kneeling at your feet for a long time.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ah shit, here we go again


	2. taking a chance on an unsure thing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **warnings:** none
> 
>  **sexual content:** boy it's sure hinted at a lot

* * *

Yumichika comes to pick Rukia up ten minutes early looking better than Grimmjow has ever seen him, and that’s saying something considering following his music career also meant following his Instagram account which is _nothing_ but a spam of selfies. He looks light and breezy in a tank top and shorts and as soon as Rukia flies at him, he crouches down to catch her, tossing her up in the air and catching her easily. It would be easy to forget just how physically strong he is, but the tank top does show off the lean muscle in his arms.

“Hi, my favorite little princess.” Yumichika twirls her around and Rukia giggles, holding Kon out so that his makeshift superhero cape flies out with him. As made it for her after seeing some of Ulquiorra’s drawings of superhero Kon, stitching it together out of a piece of soft satin and fitting it perfectly around him. “Are you excited to stay over with me?”

“Yes! I like staying with Yumi, it’s fun.” Rukia beams up at him and Yumichika kisses her forehead, bouncing her gently in his arms while Grimmjow gathers up her bag. They never have to worry about moving the carseat around because Yumichika owns one.

 _You don’t have to thank me for buying one, that’s so weird,_ he said when Byakuya tried to do just that. _I bought when when I used to ferry Yachiru around, and I’m happy to do the same for Rukia. She’s my baby niece. What kind of uncle would I be if I didn’t?_

“We owe you one, man,” Grimmjow says, setting the bag in the backseat while Yumichika straps Rukia into the seat, tightening it as appropriate. “You’re saving our lives.”

When Yumichika glances up at him, his expression is unimpressed. “Your lives? That’s so dramatic and that’s coming from _me._ Besides, I’m happy to do it for Bazz.”

“Still means a lot to all of us because it’s not like we’ve got blood family we can drop her off with or anything.” Not that they really did back home either, but they had Orihime and she was the most reliable person when it came to babysitting Rukia.

“I know what you mean. It’s good to have friends who can help.” Yumichika kisses Rukia on the top of her head. “Are we all ready to go, my little angel? You comfy?”

“Uh huh!” Rukia holds her arms out to Grimmjow, and he leans in to hug her, picking up the faint scent of her fruit shampoo still on her hair. It’s _stupid_ that he’s known her for so little time and yet he’s pretty sure he would die for her. “I love you, Grimm. Bye bye!”

His heart lurches in his chest every time she says that. “I love you, too, Ruki.”

After they shut both of the back doors, Yumichika gives him a look over the top of the car. “How are things going for real? You guys are treating my boy right, aren’t you?”

“The fact you’re asking _me_ that feels a little mean,” Grimmjow jokes.

With an eye-roll that could rival literally any drama queen, Yumichika gives him a flat expression. “I’m serious. How’s Byakuya treating him? He’s going through a lot just being around that blond asshole again and I want to know that he’s doing okay.”

Right. Jugram Haschwalth. For those of them that knew about the past he and Bazz shared— a love affair that went south when Haschwalth picked another man over Bazz— it was hard to reconcile them spending time together. Bazz struggled to tell him to stay away from band practice when he wanted to come visit, and it showed when he came back home and needed to just sit and decompress. Some wounds never heal all the way.

“I think he wants to be friends with Haschwalth again even if it kills him,” Grimmjow admits. “We’re doing the best we can for him, but what can you really do?”

Yumichika smiles sadly. “My poor baby. Just take good care of him for me, then. Make sure he has all his shit together and he can get through it one day at a time.”

“We are. That’s kind of what tonight is supposed to be about. Reaffirming all of our shit, having a nice night together, doing something we all get a _lot_ of enjoyment out of.” Grimmjow wiggles his eyebrows a little and Yumichika groans at him. “And getting Bazz out of his head. Sosuke’s gonna take good care of him, you know you can trust him.”

“Now that is at least true. Okay. Well. I gotta take the little queen back to my place for the night. Have fun. Let me know if you need me.” Yumichika blows him a kiss over the top of the car and Grimmjow waves goodbye before heading back into the house.

Ulquiorra is waiting for him in the living room, sitting down in the center of the couch with one foot propped up on the table; Grimmjow damn near swallows his tongue at the sight of him. Though tonight was mostly about Sosuke and Bazz, that did not stop absolutely anyone from dressing to impress, and Ulquiorra is one of the best at it. The crimson leather clinging to every inch of his legs gleams in the living room lights, tucked into the black combat boots on his feet. His shirt is sleeveless and black and made of lace, and there are flashes of his skin between the intricate patterns.

“You look stunning as always, Sir.” Grimmjow’s voice comes out in a low purr and Ulquiorra glances back at him, one eyebrow raised. “I didn’t realize you were getting ready.”

When Ulquiorra snaps his fingers, Grimmjow kneels, shoving the bulk of his body between the coffee table and the couch so he can sit by Ulquiorra’s feet. “Of course I was. I just take significantly less time at it than most of the rest of the house minus yourself.”

That much is true. Grimmjow looks dressed down in tight jeans with several holes ripped into the fabric and a black button-down, but they’re only street legal clothes so they can get in and out of the house without issue. Beneath the button-down is a black leather harness much like the one Bazz first wore when he came to see them. Ulquiorra liked it.

Ulquiorra stretches out a hand and combs long, pale fingers through Grimmjow’s hair, and Grimmjow presses up into the touch easily. “The others should be down in a minute.”

“Yumichika asked if we were taking care of Bazz since… You know.” Grimmjow doesn’t have to say it; Ulquiorra’s face softens just at the words. “And I told him that we were, and that tonight is mostly for his benefit. To make sure he gets out of his head a little.”

“Of course, though I won’t say no to exploring this dungeon and seeing what it has to offer.” Ulquiorra has a wicked glitter in his eye when he says that; Grimmjow smirks.

The sound of footsteps on the stairs alerts them to someone joining them; Grimmjow cranes his neck to see Byakuya appearing at the foot of the stairs, fiddling with the cuff of his sleeve. Though initially he offered to stay home with Rukia and not come with them at all, the four of them talked about it and Sosuke went to him and asked him to come instead. He’s trying. Grimmjow may not have a huge soft spot for him right now, but he can appreciate that Byakuya is trying hard to right his mistakes and it won’t really do any of them any good if they frost him out instead of giving him a chance.

Some stupid part of him remembers that night he slept in their apartment between them and maybe he dumbly wants that back, too. Maybe he misses it. He has exactly zero brain cells to feel that way and he knows it, but Byakuya mattered to him once.

And though Grimmjow only knew him for a short time, he recognizes the clothing as what Byakuya usually wore to Las Noches. Well-fitting jeans, dark denim that highlights the toned length of his legs, and a white button-down. The fabric is thinner than it looks upon first glance, and when he steps under the light a certain way, Grimmjow can almost see his skin through it. It’s delightfully teasing. And of course, his hair is tied back in a ponytail.

Ulquiorra’s hand flexes in his hair, and Grimmjow looks up at him. Their eyes meet, and Ulquiorra nods once before releasing him, giving Grimmjow the clearance to speak if he wants to. For a moment, he hesitates. Should he say anything to Byakuya?

When Byakuya comes to sit down, he chooses the chair farthest away from the two of them and folds one leg over the other, fixing his eyes off into the distance. He’s been quiet since last night, but Grimmjow is used to that now. He acts differently after a session, and though he usually shakes it off eventually, they do seem to take a lot out of him. Of course, Grimmjow doesn’t pry. He doesn’t have any right to do that.

“You look handsome, Sir,” he says, and Byakuya glances at him, cheek resting against his knuckles. Did he say something wrong? Should he not refer to Byakuya as Sir?

_But he’s a Dom. It’d be weird not to call him by the proper title, wouldn’t it?_

“Thank you, sub. You look nice as well.” Byakuya flashes him a brief smile of approval and looks away again, and yeah, something is definitely wrong with him tonight.

When Grimmjow glances back at Ulquiorra, Ulquiorra isn’t looking at him. Instead, he rises in one graceful movement, adjusts the bottom of his shirt, and walks across the living room floor to step behind Byakuya’s chair. Either Byakuya is intentionally trying not to pay attention to them or his mind is wandering because he jumps when Ulquiorra sets his hands down on the tops of his shoulders, tilting his head back to look at him.

Grimmjow would be lying if he said they didn’t look good together. Of course they do. All that pale skin and dark hair and the natural airs of confidence about them.

It makes his heart jump a little because Ulquiorra didn’t use to carry himself like that.

“Something wrong?” Ulquiorra brushes his knuckles against the side of Byakuya’s neck, and Byakuya blinks languidly up at him. Neither of them willing to betray a thing. “You’re very tense for a night we’re supposed to be excited for. Your shoulders are tight.”

“I already made it clear I don’t think I should be joining the four of you tonight.” Byakuya’s voice is carefully blank, but Grimmjow can see his shoulders tense further.

 _Fuck._ Of course. Grimmjow slides across the floor so he can rest his cheek against Byakuya’s knee, and that makes him jolt. He’s too jumpy. “We wanted you to come, Sir.”

“We aren’t asking you to come for any reason other than that we want you there, Byakuya. We made that very clear, I think.” Ulquiorra’s hands settle on his shoulders once more and Grimmjow smiles faintly when he notices Ulquiorra slowly working the knots of tension out of the muscle; Byakuya sighs and closes his eyes. “So relax for us, and have fun with us.”

Grimmjow sneaks a hand up to take one of Byakuya’s hands in his own, lacing their fingers together, and smirks a little when Byakuya’s free hand creeps into his hair. _There you go._

He needs to ask Ulquiorra what’s going through his head later when it’s just the two of them without Byakuya here to misinterpret whatever is said. The last thing Grimmjow wants to do is upset him, but he understands all too well how easy it is to mishear something and assume the worst. He just wants to know if Ulquiorra is doing this to make the night better for Bazz or if, on some level, he does still care a little.

Once, he let Byakuya take him all the way apart and put him back together piece by piece. Maybe he does still care a little bit. Maybe this is just repayment, actually.

“See? Nothing to be afraid of. Nothing at all.” Ulquiorra runs the backs of his fingers down the front of Byakuya’s throat, smiling softly when he shivers. “Everything is fine.”

Grimmjow nuzzles the side of his knee gently, and Byakuya melts back into the couch, caught safely between the two of them. _Better. Much better._

Sosuke and Bazz come downstairs together, and it’s not hard to see why; there’s a leash clipped to the collar at Bazz’s throat and it’s wound around Sosuke’s wrist, keeping the two of them attached. When Sosuke’s eyes find them, he pauses at the foot of the stairs; the soft smile that touches his full lips makes Grimmjow’s heart beat particularly fast in a way only Sosuke ever seems to cause in him. He’s the one man that Grimmjow doesn’t think he can ever really get used to having in his life, too impossibly strong for words.

He also looks stunning tonight in all-white, tight white jeans and a white button-down all soft and flowy at the sleeves and the hem, his hair drawn back like Byakuya’s to keep it out of the way. In contrast, Bazz is in all black. Leather pants with transparent pieces up the thighs and a black harness not unlike the one Grimmjow has on under his shirt, but he’s using his familiar black leather jacket to hide it on the way out. Smart man.

“The three of you look very cozy together,” he muses, and Byakuya opens his eyes and sits up immediately as if he’s been caught doing something wrong. “Don’t mind me. I was admiring the view. Three beautiful men together, what’s not to love?”

Bazz whistles low and snakes his arm around Sosuke’s waist, drawing him in against his chest. “I’m kinda jealous. Looks like you three are getting started early.”

“We haven’t been getting started with anything.” Byakuya carefully slips his leg out from under Grimmjow’s hair and pulls himself away from Ulquiorra’s hands, and Grimmjow feels a pang in his chest. _What the fuck did we do that was so wrong?_

Ulquiorra frowns, catching Byakuya by the ponytail, effectively stopping him from going anywhere further. “Byakuya was a bit tense. We were just relaxing him a little.”

Byakuya drags his teeth over his lip. He doesn’t look happy about that explanation, and Grimmjow isn’t happy about how suddenly weird he’s acting. He hooks an arm around Byakuya’s leg and squeezes his calf gently. “Nothing wrong with that, is there, Sir?”

“Not at all,” Sosuke says, and Byakuya looks away from all of them. _Jesus Christ._ “As and Cang Du should be arriving shortly. I would suggest everyone relaxing is a good idea.”

“Take my place, Grimmjow. You’re better at massages than I am.” Ulquiorra steps from behind the chair and Grimmjow rises to do as he’s said, and Byakuya relents to sit back.

He watches Ulquiorra out of the corner of his eye and smiles a little to himself when Ulquiorra walks up to Sosuke, cups his cheek, and kisses him. The way Sosuke melts into him makes Grimmjow soft in the knees; Sosuke has been comfortable submitting to Ulquiorra since the first time they did it together, and there’s something about watching him let a wall of his come down that always makes Grimmjow happy.

When he turns his attention back to Byakuya, he’s unsurprised to see Byakuya has his head down, staring at his hands in his lap. His shoulders are looser now, fallen a little, and that… It hurts. It fucking sucks that things are this way for all of them, that something that should make them all happy just kind of hurts one of them more.

 _I should probably be pissed at him for taking it personally like it isn’t his fault that Sosuke doesn’t trust him enough to submit to him,_ Grimmjow tells himself, easing his thumbs against the nape of Byakuya’s neck. The muscles there are so tense and tightened that it concerns him slightly. _But it just kinda makes me sad knowing it’s like this right now._

Maybe pressuring him to come out with them is just going to make shit worse.

“You okay, Sir?” Grimmjow pitches his voice low so that only Byakuya hears him, leaning in close to him. If he says he isn’t okay, Grimmjow will lobby for him to stay home.

“I’m fine.” He’s lying, and Grimmjow knows it. “You can stop, sub. It isn’t necessary.”

“With all due respect, Sir, you’re going to have some serious muscle aches if I stop.” He presses the heel of his palm down on another knot, working it slowly until is eases.

Byakuya looks back at him, and his eyes are softer than Grimmjow is used to seeing them. The entire time they were all fighting, his gaze was sharp and glacier cold. He doesn’t seem to have too much of that in him now. “They make painkillers for that.”

“If it pleases you, I’d rather do it myself.” Grimmjow lets himself lean over Byakuya and thinks it would be easy to kiss him like this. If they were on those terms.

“Suit yourself, sub.” Byakuya sits back upright and Grimmjow returns to rubbing his shoulders, feeling the muscles ease and soften beneath his fingers. Byakuya needs this more than he wants to admit, but Grimmjow can be stubborn, too.

Sosuke sits in the center of the couch with Ulquiorra next to him, and Bazz takes up a spot kneeling at Sosuke’s feet, lying his head against his leg. The three of them make a pretty picture, and Grimmjow is lucky to have all of them in his life. He’s learning to count all of his blessings because some people never meet anyone they fall in love with. He’s met _three_ men that he would give up his life for in any situation, and he’s so lucky for it.

“Are you excited, sub?” Sosuke trails his fingers along the shaved side of Bazz’s scalp, smiling when Bazz shivers under his hand. “I’ll take that as a yes. I’m very excited, too.”

Ulquiorra hums softly, resting his chin on Sosuke’s shoulder. “He looked very pretty when he submitted to me. I think you’ll find he’s just as obedient as you’d like him to be.”

“What are the three of you going to do while we’re busy?” Sosuke asks him.

“We’ll figure something out. I want to have a look around, see what kind of equipment they have. Maybe we can find a fun way to play together. That is, Grimmjow and myself.” Ulquiorra looks at them, and Grimmjow feels Byakuya start to tense under his hands again, though his outward expression does not change. “I won’t presume to say what Byakuya should or shouldn’t do with his time. BDSM is about consent, after all.”

Byakuya inclines his head just slightly. “I’ll have a few drinks and likely just look around.”

“Don’t want to play with us, Sir?” Grimmjow asks, squeezing his shoulders.

Before Byakuya can answer him, headlights flash through the curtains and Bazz stands up off of the floor, giving the leash a gentle tug. “May I go let my friends in, Sir?”

“Of course.” Sosuke tucks the leash through a belt look on Bazz’s pants and smiles up at him. “It’s about time for us to get ready to go, after all.”

Bazz answers the door when there’s a knock, and Grimmjow straightens up when Cang Du and As Nodt step into the house. The two of them were members of Bazz’s original German band and are currently members of their music project, still without a form but not lacking any passion or drive. Being here in Germany means spending more time with the two of them, and so Grimmjow is comfortable enough going to a BDSM club of their choosing.

As always looks pretty and now is no different, really. He likes to wear anything that’s comfortable on him and tonight that means a skirt that leaves a lot of strip of bare thigh showing above the tops of his obscenely tall boots with their bright silver buckles running all up the sides. Grimmjow has seen them before, but never in this context; they’re stunning. And on top of the shirt is a lacy black shirt that makes him think of Ulquiorra’s. Did they intend to match? He doesn’t think he’d be surprised.

Cang Du dresses down way more in just a simple black t-shirt and matching black jeans, but he has nice biceps and forearms so it works for him. “We ready to head out? You all look nice. Everyone is going to make me look like shit but I’m happy just to get to see it.”

“You look handsome, hush.” As swats him gently on the arm. “You all do look nice.”

Sosuke chuckles softly, hooking a finger in Bazz’s collar. “Thank you. We tend to dress to impress even if it looks like we aren’t trying. Shall we be on our way now?”

“Yeah, it’s a pretty busy place so I like getting there at a decent time.” Cang Du slings an arm around As’s shoulders, pulling him up against his side. They’re a sappy sweet couple; Grimmjow likes that about them. “You can follow us in your car.”

Grimmjow leans down so that Byakuya can only hear him once more. “You still coming? If you really don’t want to, I’ll vouch to the others so you can stay at the house.”

“Is that so?” Byakuya looks back at him. “Do you not want me to come, then?”

“I want you there. Of course I do. But I don’t want you to be off on your own at the bar thinking we don’t want you there.” Grimmjow glances up; Ulquiorra is watching them.

Byakuya sighs and shakes his head. “No, I promised Sosuke I would come, and this is important to him. I’m not going back on that promise one way or another.”

“All right, Sir. Whatever makes you happy.” If they were on better terms, maybe Grimmjow would kiss him. His cheek, maybe even just his hair, but all of that feels like stepping over several boundaries between the two of them now. Not an option.

Does he want it to be an option again? He kind of thinks he does want that.

At any rate, he and Byakuya join the others and then head outside to get in the car. They have a nice SUV for taking them around, one that’s safe and protected enough for Rukia to ride in and all of them to fit in comfortably. Bazz is driving with Sosuke in the passenger seat next to him, which puts Grimmjow and Ulquiorra in the back with Byakuya. Surely it’s less awkward than what _could_ happen but he’s probably still not happy about it.

He takes the seat behind Sosuke and turns his body so he’s staring out the window, and Grimmjow’s heart hurts a little. No part of him wants it to _be_ this way, not really.

Ulquiorra leans in close to him in the middle seat and Grimmjow tilts his head down, putting his ear right at Ulquiorra’s lips so that he can talk to him. _It’s a lot of fucking whispering to each other these days,_ he thinks, but he knows why, too. There are so many sensitive topics for them to dance around, and they have to consult each other on some things first.

Like this one that Ulquiorra murmurs into his ear. “Did you want to play with Byakuya?”

What a question. Grimmjow doesn’t really know the answer. He sure did once. He was comfortable and safe and trusted Byakuya then. “Would it be bad if we did?”

“It’s up to you. I won’t be the one submitting.” Ulquiorra looks at him, and Grimmjow nods. He knows what Ulquiorra means. “If you want to, we can try. I cannot guarantee that he would agree to that, but if you’ve gotten that into your head—”

Grimmjow cuts him off, soft and urgent. “He’s trying, right? Shouldn’t we try? I know we said we weren’t going to… Not after last time, but if he’s working on getting his shit together, it should be okay. Shouldn’t it? Sosuke is working around to trusting him. I mean, if you don’t want to or if you think it’s not safe, then we don’t have to, but…”

But it fucking sucks to live in a house with someone who feels removed from the majority of their relationship and who occasionally sleeps alone because of it.

Ulquiorra’s face softens. “If that’s what you think and want, then we can try.”

Grimmjow kisses him and sits back in his seat, confident that they can at least _try._

He watches as Ulquiorra turns to Byakuya and touches his shoulder, as Byakuya turns to look at him, and Grimmjow pretends to be messing with his phone instead of looking at the two of them. It’s hard to hear what Ulquiorra is saying or what Byakuya is saying; they have such naturally low and deep voices that murmuring makes them nearly inaudible. But he does see when Ulquiorra reaches out to touch Byakuya’s hand.

Would it be so bad? Is wanting this with him bad? Grimmjow can’t pretend to know the answer to that question. He just wants to fix things between them if it’s possible.

They arrive at the dungeon faster than Grimmjow thought possible, but when he reaches for the door handle, Ulquiorra stops him. “Grimmjow. Stay in the car for a moment.”

“Everything good?” Bazz turns around in his seat to look at them, eyebrows furrowed as he looks between the two of them. “Do we need to go back home or something?”

Sosuke turns to look at them, too, his face soft with worry. “Is everything all right?”

“The three of us are going to have a private discussion in the car, that’s all,” Ulquiorra says smoothly, and Grimmjow’s eyebrows dart up at the promise in those words, a huge smile pulling across his face. _Did you agree to give us a shot after all, Bya?_ “So we’ll catch up with you in just a moment. It’s not going to be a long conversation.”

“I see. We’ll wait for you at the doors.” Sosuke looks at Byakuya, and he thinks there must be some kind of silent communication between the two of them before Sosuke’s face softens and he smiles. “I’m glad you decided to come out with us, darling.”

He and Bazz step out of the car, and once the lights have dimmed and the vehicle is dark once more, Ulquiorra clears his throat. “Byakuya, you wanted to say something directly.”

“I don’t particularly think it’s wise of either of you to want to perform any kind of scene with me given that our past history doesn’t exactly put our relationship into a very flattering light. I haven’t done nearly enough to rectify anything I’ve done or said.” Byakuya looks directly at them when he speaks, and Grimmjow can make out enough of his face to see that he’s definitely upset. _Goddamn it._

Grimmjow swallows hard; his throat clicks. “So maybe it’s fucked of me to say I don’t give a shit, but I don’t. They’re gonna be busy. Why not spend the night with each other?”

“You have no reason to trust me in any way, and you shouldn’t.” This time, Byakuya is stern. “You should never trust a Dom with your body if you can’t trust him, and you cannot possibly trust me after everything I’ve done. I know you both better than that.”

Ulquiorra tilts his head forward. “You are correct. I do not trust you enough to submit to you like I did the first time. I don’t know if I could ever do that again.”

 _Fuck._ Grimmjow wants to shrivel up and _die_ rather than listen to this conversation. “But—”

“That being said, I’ve done absolutely nothing to void your trust in me.” Ulquiorra looks directly at Byakuya, and Grimmjow’s mouth goes dry. “You play Dominance games, Byakuya, but most Doms trained on their knees. Would you submit to me?”

That visual alone is enough to have Grimmjow reaching down to adjust where his dick is laying in his jeans; he might as well not even be in the van right now, and he’s fine with that. The tension is thick enough to be uncomfortable and every breath fills his lungs with static electricity, but all he can do is look at the two of them. And imagine Byakuya naked on his knees in front of Ulquiorra, all of that attitude stripped away.

He has to be a horrible fucking person for wanting that. He’s sure of it.

“Is there a particular reason you’re interested in me when you already have a submissive who hangs on your every word and obeys you completely?” Byakuya’s tone is wry, but he doesn’t look unhappy at the suggestion. Maybe he’s considering it, then?

Ulquiorra stretches out a hand to touch his face, and Grimmjow bites down on the inside of his cheek so hard he tastes copper. _Fuck, Quiorra._ “Because Grimmjow is inelegant, but right. You have worked so hard to mend your relationship with Sosuke, and it does give me some level of belief that you would fix all of your mistakes. If you are concerned enough about the trust we have in you to tell us flat-out that no, you will not play a Dominant to either of us, then I know your heart is at the very least in the right place.”

Yeah, so he’s inelegant. At least Ulquiorra knows he had a _point_ —

“And I find you to be attractive and maybe some part of me would be intrigued at the idea of having someone so strong at my feet after I personally know just what your Dominance tastes like.” Ulquiorra moves his hand away, and though it’s almost missable, Byakuya does try to follow the touch. _Oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck._ “But if you’d rather sit at the bar all evening while the rest of us take turns giving each other orgasms, then suit yourself.”

Byakuya catches him by the wrist, the movement so quick Grimmjow misses it. “Wait.”

“Is that a yes, then?” Ulquiorra twists his hand quickly, twining his fingers with Byakuya’s own. “Your husband has knelt at my feet. So has Grimmjow. So has Bazz. You can rest assured that I know exactly what I am doing when I am in my element. And I have a scene to pay you back for directly, so I think you would enjoy playing games with me.”

Silence hangs in the car for a moment before Byakuya drops his head slightly. It looks like defeat, and Grimmjow fucking _hates_ that so much. “If it pleases you, Sir, then yes.”

“Look me in the eye.” Byakuya doesn’t move fast enough so Ulquiorra grabs him by the chin and twists his head back up, putting their faces close together. “Don’t ever do that. Don’t put your head down at me. Submission is not inferiority. It is not defeat. It is not helpless acceptance. If you view it as such, we don’t have to do anything together.”

“That’s not what I meant.” Byakuya’s voice is pitched low and soft and… Different. It’s a subtle change, but Grimmjow notices it just the same. “I just… I have things I need to think through and handle. The two of you are making it very hard on me to think.”

“To overthink,” Ulquiorra says, and Byakuya closes his eyes. _Oh…_ “Then kneel before me and let me think for you for just one evening, and maybe that will give you the answers you’ve been searching for. Believe me, I have some of my own questions to answer.”

He what? Grimmjow opens his mouth to say something, then closes it. No. Later. Right now, he just presses his back against Ulquiorra’s chest and reaches out to touch Byakuya’s face, letting him feel both of their hands on his skin. And for just a moment, things are perfectly captured in this small bubble of quiet. Just the three of them.

Whether this works or not, Grimmjow thinks it will be well worth the effort.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> did you really think i, byakuyakuchiki, would not eventually write sub byakuya in this 'verse


End file.
